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Poem12

Oh boy

Don’t even get me fucken started

I know there’s things

You’re scared I’ll say

But I believe

It’s the littler things

That tell my story well

Simple things

Everyday things

Being in the car things

Ah, the cars

Boy, did you love to use those bitches

To terrorize those around you

It may not seem

Like physical abuse

Outside the car

But in the car

I’m gripping the handle

As you drive too fast

As your voice gets a bit louder

You didn’t just yell what I thought you did?

Surely not, I duck my head down.

Jake is panicked in the back

& we give each other that look

We’re okay, it’s just a trip to the gas station

To the christmas tree farm

To the Von’s

To the gym

To Grandma’s 

To Thanksiving

That’s the thing

It only takes 

A 15 minute drive

To re-establish control

Through fear

All girls

One man

You didn’t need to wield so much power

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You didn’t need to

You didn’t need to

You didn’t need to

You didnt need to

You didnt need to 

You didnt need to

You didnt need to 

You didnt need to

You didnt need to

You didnt need to

YOU DIDNT NEED TO

YOU DICNT NEED TO YOU FUCKEMN DIDNT NEED TO DO THAT

YIOU SHOULDNT HAVE DONE THAT

We WERE SO SMALL

We trusted you

Put our lives into your hands

Over & over again

Came out unscathed on my skin

But never deep within

Whatever you were yelling

Hatred in your voice

It was enough to remind me 

To stay in line 

A big longer

Who knew what you could be capable of

If I said no right now

If I spoke my mind right now

What could happen? 

I am not safe here

I need to leave

Forever

For me

For me

For me

For me

To hear a new voice 

New voices

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To just get away

Long enough to feel 

Safe