my mom wishes you hit her
or us
she told me once
oh dayna
i hope god
doesn’t punish us
to teach him a lesson
i’m so afraid
he will take sarah
in some way
just so dad could learn
so dad could change
but god didn’t bother,
even she knows the glaring truth
that smacks my mother
across the face
every goddamn day
of her stupid life
he’ll never change
& he’ll never hit u either
he’ll never make it easy
he told u
what he’d do
fearmongering & hatred
masquerading as love
you’d lose the kids
you’d lose the house
you’d lose the money
you’d lose respect
& most of all, you’d lose him
the most important thing
you NEED him
you can’t live without him
who could ever love you?
look at you, he said
“is that what you’re actually wearing tonight?”
& i said, you looked beautiful
i had watched you choose your outfit
carefully
do your hair
purse your lips in the mirror as you do
& i admired you
he came in, like he always does
& wants to ruin what was enjoyed when
he wasn’t present
he said “is that what you’re wearing?”
& like so many times before
i screamed
“how could you say that?! she looks amazing! she’s been getting ready for hours!”
of course
you said i was overreacting
you said i always overreact
& i misunderstood
no bitch
u misunderstood
u thought u could get away with it all
but im about to be ur worst nightmare
cuz ur in all of mine
Dayna Brockbank is a travel and language-learning blogger who has lived around the world but has now settled in Nice, France. She speaks 3 languages at varying levels of fluency: Spanish, Italian, and French, and graduated with a Bachelor’s in Spanish Education. She and her husband focus on making travel part of life by living cheaply and traveling on a budget.